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My First Song

So this is the first song I've ever finished, but I've been sitting on it for a few months now.  I just can't figure out how to make the lyrics sound right.  They're just so stupid and saccharine, and they stay that way no matter what I do.  There's also that annoying buzzing in the back ground that's reminding me I need to get a better microphone.  I suppose at least it all sounds really pretty.  Maybe I'm just not meant to write pop songs.  If anyone reading this has any suggestions for improvement, please let me know.  At the very least, I figure it'll be pretty entertaining.


Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I can’t believe that old sweatshirt
Looks good on you even now
Though it seems you’re tearing down my world
With what’s coming out of your mouth

How could you, goddess, oh Venus
Deem it right to strike me so
You wouldn’t go for my bridle
Guess I have to let you go

[Chorus]
You walking away
Is breaking my heart
I’m not good at goodbyes
And falling apart

If you only would stay
Forever in my embrace
Oh, angel of mines
I’d never lead you astray

Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh

[Verse 2]
Can’t tell if it’s rain from the grey clouds
Or tears from my bleary eyes
Can you really do me no better
Than a disingenuous sigh

The coat, the hot cup of coffee
Can’t quell the cold in my bones
Yet you can just shrug your shoulders
Turn around, leave me all alone

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Maybe I’ll get over you, a couple years from now
I’ll be on to somebody new, maybe, maybe, but right now

[Chorus]

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